I'll find my way home
by Try Me Hot
Summary: I decided to write my own personal ending for John Shepard. I'm not sure if I should add more chapters to this. Maybe I'll come back to it at some point if the Mass Effect 3 extended cut disappoints tomorrow.


"Thank you, Sir. Anderson?"

Quiet. No response. No laboured breathing. _Nothing._

"It's been an honour, Anderson."

Knowing all too well what had occurred, Shepard closed his eyes, wanting to cast away the pain and sadness. The sweat on his neck and forearms mixed with dust, grime and blood, running in brown-black rivulets down his arms and back. The sickening aroma of burnt flesh, blood and… death, strongly filled his nose. He could practically taste it on his tongue. He felt a burning sensation up his left side, and recognized the feeling all too well.

Creaking open his eyes, Shepard looked down at his badly damaged body, noticing the suspected severe wound located on his side; a fatal shot if not treated.

He pulled his hand away briefly, his own blood steadily spilling between his fingers.

This is it for him. This is were it silently ends.

He _knew._

The thought didn't prevent him from applying more pressure on the puncture; call it a dying marine's instinct. A survivor will find their lifeless bodies up here eventually, along with many other uncounted casualties of this war. _After all, how many people littered those hallways back there? Hundreds? Thousands? _Too many.

A warm lump formed in his throat. He had had many horrendous memories burned into his mind over the last few months. He heard their screams, saw their innocent faces, he woke up sweating, sometimes trembling uncontrollably. As a leader he had to simply adjust and deal with whatever was thrown at him, reality or not. No room for doubts or hesitation.

But he's not overcoming anything this time.

The hellish pain became more and more intense with each passing second but his face didn't allow any signs of it to show as he knew that this physical suffering won't last very long. It's only there for a short while. Inevitably, he would surely bleed out if untreated soon, and his accomplished life would finally come to a halt.

He simply didn't have the energy left within his tired limbs to move and change his fate. He couldn't. It was a fact, that Shepard found himself accepting quite easily.

An unlucky measurement of dark liquid was already pooling in the centre of his palm. The sooner the better, he thought. No point in prolonging it any longer than necessary. He did his duty. His sacrifice was a small price to pay for peace, freedom, and safety for everyone he cared about. He'd do it all again, and as many times as it took to ensure that.

Now everything felt heavier for some reason, like there's an invisible weight on top of him.

As his languid strength started noticeably failing him more and more, Shepard looked out at his home planet for what he assumed would be the last time. Indulging in the incredible swirls of clouds, his eyes tracing the familiar shapes of land he knew by name. The Illusive man was right about one thing though… it is perfect. He was proud to call it home, proud to have served. Perhaps it was a stupid thought, but he wished he could've died down there on his home turf and not up here. But at least Anderson was here with him; the man who always stuck by him, believed in him, pushed him forward when he slowed, and now it looked as if they'd be parting ways for good, side-by-side.

For long minutes, he stared ahead until Earth became nothing but a blurry mass in his vision.

Tears of emotion pooled in his eyes, but they did not fall as he thought about the woman he loved. The fear of not seeing her ever again pierced his heart.

_Ash… _Remembering how he always took what little time they could steal away together to let her know how much he actually cared, perhaps without words, but with gentle touches, a firm look of encouragement, or simply his presence when she needed an ear. Hopefully with those everyday actions, he gave her the knowledge that she was important to him, even if, in the end he couldn't give her what she honestly deserved.

_I let her down. _Suddenly, it felt like he was making the biggest mistake of his life leaving her behind a second time.

But he was doing _this_ for her.

It was over and she'd be okay. _Safe. Saved._

That's what he wanted more than anything.

Shepard's head slumped. He struggled to move, to raise his head again, but wasn't capable to pull off such a feat successfully. The darkness in his eyes gave waves to his memories. He was fortunate to see the friendly faces of his closest friends float across his vision momentarily. There was the sarcastic pilot Joker, who caught his eyes and tilted his cap dutifully. Followed by Captain Anderson; rays of light bouncing off the medals proudly sewn on his shoulder. One by one they showed and he recognized them immediately. All these people were his extended family, who had his back from the beginning, and he would miss each of them.

_Garrus._

_Liara._

_Tali…_

Through his suffering, Shepard was smiling as he saw _her _warm smile flash before him one more time. He saw Ashley again, cuddling a little life in her arms. It was something he would never get to experience, but it brought him a deep sense of happiness and filled his heart with undeniable pride in his last moments.

Soon, the blackness took over completely.


End file.
